Maternal Ambivalence and Loss in a Changing China from a Daughter’s Perspective

Abstract

This article explores the intricate dynamics of the mother-daughter relationship amid the sociocultural transformation of post-Mao China from the 1980s to the present from a daughter’s perspective. Employing an autoethnographic method combined with cultural and theoretical analysis, this article first examines how concepts such as “maternal ambivalence”, “self-silencing,” and “feminine attachment behaviours” manifest within the unique sociocultural context of China. The second section connects these theoretical and cultural frameworks to my narration of my mother’s story, focussing on three key dimensions: her mothering, romantic suffering, and terminal illness. This article argues that my mother’s maternal identity and personal suffering were deeply intertwined with the conflicts between traditional family hierarchies and the rise of emotional intimacy as a societal ideal for mother-daughter relationships in the 1990s. Her avoidant coping mechanisms, shaped by romantic trauma and sociocultural pressures, not only led to her precursory delusion and eventual death but also created silences in our bond that complicated my grieving process and deepened the transmission of trauma across generations. By weaving personal epiphanies with cultural and theoretical insights, this article contributes to the scholarship on motherhood, grief, trauma, and the evolving mother-daughter bond within the context of modernizing East Asian societies.